Over-Texting: Avoiding a Major Mistake in Modern Dating
Texting is fast, easy, and keeps you glued to the screen all day. But here’s the thing: mess it up with over-texting, and you could wreck your love life before it even gets going.
Recently, relationship experts have been talking a lot about this one big texting mistake that can get in the way of finding true love. Don’t worry if you’re guilty of it; we got you covered. Let’s break down this major texting turn-off.
Over-Texting You Need to Stop Right Now
The habit in question? Over-texting. Yes, you know what we’re talking about–Sending multiple texts in a row, double texting, hitting them with a million questions, and filling their phone with unnecessary details. Sound familiar?
Relationship experts aren’t holding back when it comes to over-texting. They warn that overtexting may come off as desperate, clingy, and needy. And guess what? This pressure can kill any chance of flirting and budding your romantic relationship. Instead of drawing them closer, you might even push them away.
Julia Spira, an online dating expert, explains that although texting is essential in any relationship, it’s better to move to face-to-face meetings promptly. She quotes, “We who want authentic connection should be careful not to waste time and energy on an illusion built through addictive dings on our phones.”
Why Over-Texting Is a Major Turn-Off?
Sending consecutive unanswered messages conveys clinginess and shows how desperate you are for your partner’s attention. You can’t seem to contain yourself without them.
Bruce Bryans, author of ‘Texts So Good He Can’t Ignore,’ advises, “The thing is, if you want to make a man think about you more often when you’re not with him AND keep him eager (or even desperate) to see you again, you must remember that “less is best” is the best policy when texting men.”
It’s important to keep up with your partner’s texting pace. If they haven’t replied yet, control those urges instead of flooding their DMs, seeming needy. Over-texting is a major turnoff, and here’s why:
Creates Imbalance
Imagine putting yourself all in for someone who can’t even reciprocate your text energy. Just reading that sounds painful, right? Now, imagine going through it.
Dr. John Gottman, a pioneer in relationship research, explains in his book ‘The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work’ that healthy relationships are the ones that are built on a foundation of respect and reciprocity.
You need to chill and take a break from that constant texting. It helps with nothing but makes the other person feel like you’re a needy loner, which sounds awfully off-putting. So make sure to reach out once and then wait!
Leaves No Room for Anticipation
Dating is a lot about the buzz of waiting to hear from your partner and looking forward to their updates. When you’re always texting first, bombarding them with updates before you even get a reply, you’re kinda killing the excitement for them.
Feels Overwhelming
Let’s be honest; No one likes to be constantly bombarded with updates or questions. Remember that you’re trying to win over the other person, not play detective.
When someone’s phone is continuously buzzing, it can feel quite overwhelming, especially at the beginning of the relationship when you’re just getting to know each other. So don’t make your partner feel like it’s too much, too soon.
How Often Should You Text?
To figure out how much you need to text your partner, just pay attention to how into you they seem. That’s the real clue!
Just notice how much they want to chat, if they make time for you, and if they fill you in on their day. If they are frequent texters, win-win for both. If they are laid-back and wanna take things slow, go with the flow.
And most importantly, have a life outside of your relationship. Hang out with friends and family, and try out new hobbies so that you’re neither over-texting nor overthinking about them.
4 Golden Rules to Elevate Your Texting Game
Instead of gulping loads of coffee and staying up late in the hope of a reply, applying these might help you get faster replies.
- Be Authentic
Don’t try to put up a fake personality to impress someone. Being real is way more attractive and helps you build a genuine connection.
- Share Interesting Content
Level up your texting game by sharing more than just plain texts. If you come across a meme, article, or reel that you think might interest them, send it their way. It’s a great way to show you’ve been thinking of them.
- Use Humor Wisely
A well-timed joke, meme, or a fun convo can totally spark someone’s deeper interest in you. However, what’s funny to you might not land the same way with them, so don’t mess this up.
Bottom Line
Keep it real with your texting, and don’t forget to turn to the pros for advice. Avoid the usual pitfalls and watch your connections get stronger and more meaningful.